Time for another movie rant.. You prob want me to talk about what has been going on with my life, but that will have to wait. For a little reassurance, I plan on starting to write daily again. We’ll see what happens.

Anyways… I just watched a show called Ping Pong. If you want it I can send it to you… but it’s about two friends who play ping pong. Not just for fun, but competitively. You see, in Japan they have clubs. Like real clubs, and they do real stuff, very different than it is here in the states… Well, the story is about how one of them loses sight of the game, and he loses. He’s not playing, he’s beating away at it. And when he loses, he quits. In the end it’s basically a story about how some things exist not only for you. How you don’t only exist only for you. One thing they began saying is, Enter the Hero.

Do you believe in hero’s? Do you think they exist? Who are they? Are the images in a comic book, a piece of fiction on the screen? Or are they your friends, your family? What is a hero? Someone with super powers? That can’t be so… I have tons of examples to prove that wrong. So, what are they? People who save the day, right? When you think of a hero you probably think of the person who does some daring feat and saves an others life… which I guess isn’t too far off. Someone who saves another. Maybe just as simple as someone who’s there for another. Are you a hero?

Want to hear of some of my hero’s? One is Eric Jones, and another is Daniel Jones. Then there is Linda Tangitau, and Steve Jones… Tina Casper, Nagisa Higa, Clint Burnham… (Yes, you too Charlene 🙂

First two are my brothers… I love them as much as I love living. As much as I love being happy. Eric is in school. He’s happy. Doing what he wants. Daniel is in the Marines. You know he saluted the President the other day out at Camp Lejuine? He’s actually applied to go fight in the war? He’s trying to help save me. And you. Linda is my Mother. She’s given me everything. My soul, my heart, my world. She has tried so hard to help me through the years. I hope to be able to help her someday. I pray I’ll be able to. My father, Steve. Aside from my middle name he’s given me a lot. A lot of the mormon psychology was given(forced) to me from him, but I enjoy a lot of it. I’ve never drank alcohol, even though I doubt he believes that. *laugh* I’ve never touched drugs, and the one time I tried a cigarette was when I was like 8 and was playing around. I coughed and gave it up. I made it to 21 before having sex, but I guess my folly. He still tried his hardest, perhaps a little too hard, to make me walk the straight and narrow. I prob would have enjoyed it more if he would have walked with me instead of trying to force me to walk in front of him, but I still recognize that he tried. And for trying to make me a better person, and in my opinion succeeding in most of that attempt, I love and thank him. Tina Casper. She’ll be my wife in a month. I’ll be honest and say I didn’t really ask for it up front, but I really do love her. I’m glad I’m with her, and I know we’ll be happy. Few people have it so great to have someone who loves you to the point where they’ll do anything for you. She’ll do everything, so I can be a better person, I hope to return the favor. Nagisa… I truly do love her. She’s been someone who has helped me up. Even though we’ve never met, I know she’s felt the wetness of my tears. She’s felt the pain I felt inside, and she’s stood there with my blood on her hands holding my heart together so it could heal. She’s help me through lots, and I love her for all of it. She will truly be my friend for all times. I hope she knows that. I truly believe you only get a few true friends in your life. She’ll defiantly be one of them. And the other is Clint Burnham. I know he reads this every now and then, and I want to thank him. I still think about him… about our ‘adventures’ together. Me, him, Nick and Steve. I love him as much as I love my family. In a way he is my family. I’ve always called him my brother, and even though we haven’t talked in a while, he still is my brother. I shaped my future with him. And even though I know I’ve hurt him, he’s still stood by me, and he is still my brother. I shall always cherish that. And my dear little sister Charlene. You’ll be a mother soon. Remember now, that you will be that childs hero. That child will love you, and you will be the heart that beats in it’s little chest. Raise your kid well, for one day you’ll understand how much you meant… and you don’t want it to be too late.

There are other hero’s in my life. Alex, Darcy, Shippo, Maru, all my friends from IRC… all the Marines in Iraq, anyone who’s fighting for what they believe in, and for the safety of everyone else. You know… one day I saw somebody standing on the beach in California. He was just standing there looking at the sunrise. Didn’t even move. I don’t know who he is, but I watched him. Every day for the next week, I went to the beach and stood there, and watched the sunrise. Just stared. You know how in the beginning of “City of Angels” they mention that you can hear music in the sun rise? I didn’t hear music, but I did feel alive. (I guess it’s good only the angels heard the music then… *shrug*) But that one person inspired me. Some anonymous person. Could that have been you?

In the end, I’m just a person. I’m no different than you, but at the same time, I’m totally different than you. Like you, I have dreams, ambitions, idea. My heart beats, and my blood flows in my veins like yours.
But, we are still different. I don’t know how different, since I can’t see who’s going to read this. But I have a future. I see the future, because I’m creating it. I can’t tell you if there is a god, but I can say the future is not his. It’s mine, and it’s yours. You make your own fate. Don’t try to be a hero, because you are already one. Even if you don’t know it, you are one. Look at the people who are a hero to you. Figure out why they are your hero, and use that as motivation. Become better, become greater, and be happy! That’s what living is about. Even if you don’t reach your goals on the first try, stay happy and try again. Nothing is impossible. Not for me anyways, and if you try hard enough, not for you either.

So, in the end… you should watch this movie… it’s really good.
I love you all.
Matt

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Filed under: Uncategorized - @ April 5, 2003 8:26 am