Ok, lets see whats happening.

First of all, I guess I should mention that Tina is comming out here on the 20th for 10 days. I guess it kinda sucks since I’m working nights now, but at least they were nice and gave me lots of days off for the time she’ll be here.

Secondly, my TMO stuff (Travel Management Office — The move your stuff in the Air Force) will be delivering my computer/tv/etc tomorrow. Fun fun, ne? Finally get to play my PS2 and watch anime on a good tv. Yay.

What else… I don’t know.. Pretty boring stuff.

I’ve been writing and stuff again. Writing some poems right now. I don’t know how they’ll turn out, but I guess we’ll find out. I’ve also been thinking alot about Tina…

Tina is very pretty. I don’t need everyone else telling me this to know this. She’s an excellent poetess, and she’s fun to be with. Everyone tells me I’m lucky to have a girl like that. So, why have I been wondering about our relationship? Sometimes I wonder if I got with her because she threatened herself… Other times I wonder if it’s just because I hate being alone. I do care for her, very much. Yes, but after Aubree I don’t know about my emotions anymore. I don’t trust them. I don’t trust much anymore. Aubree destroyed alot of the ties within myself that I thought I knew about myself.

And then there is Nagi. I’ve always wanted to date her, but the whole “across America” always prevented that. She’s just a friend now, and because she’s Engaged to Robbie that is all the chance I ever had, but sometimes I still wonder about that. In the end I just hope she stays a good friend. She’s always been there for me and I hope she always will be.

In the end, I do love Tina, and it didn’t take Aubree for me to decide that I wasn’t going to cheat on the person I’m with. That was something I’ve sworn to myself a long time ago. I also feel that this will last. As for Nagi.. I hope Tina becomes good friends with her so we can visit them and stuff and remain friends forever.

Well, I have the next couple days off. I’m going to work on some of the challenge websites and see how many more levels I can obtain. 🙂
Night, Matt

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Filed under: Uncategorized - @ March 5, 2003 8:48 pm