I don’t know what to think of today. I got all my plans set for this weekend. Me and four of the guys are going to San Fran to chill for the weekend. (I’ll prob spend most of my time in Chinatown *hehe*) but I’m looking forward to that. We have the room reserved and the hotel set up. Things should be good… at least I hope so…

And I was able to talk to Nagi today. Not for too long, but it was nice talking again. At least I feel she’s doing all right now. She’s not sick or anything. I wish I could see her happier, but we’ll see how things turn out…

Aside from that.. I was on Dorm Guard for the last two hours… Nothing but sitting there… I was able to read my book, so that was ok.. but it was still boring.

And for the sad news… I just talked to my mom. My brother (Eric, the older of the two) leaves for college sometime this week. My sister is 7 weeks pregnant, so I’ll be a uncle soon… I’m not sure if this is good or bad, since they don’t have the means to support themselves even… And Daniel leaves for boot camp in two weeks. So my mom will be alone except for a crying baby and my leeching sister…
The worst part is… she asked me if she needs a will. All her papers say I’m in charge of everything if she dies, but she wasn’t sure if that was enough… The reason is.. she goes into surgery on the 9th. She’s having a ‘stomach bypass’ or something and, as with all operations, there are it’s risks. She has a disease that may kill her called Sarcoidosis, and it appears to be coming back. This operation might help that some and could possibly prolong her life. Hopefully it will help.

*laugh* She said happy birthday, and told me I was ’22, becoming an old man…” I laughed and corrected her at 23. Eric will be 22 on the 19th of September. 23 on the 5th though.. Life really has flown past. I’ve been through lots now… including a marriage that could rank as the worst marriage to ever take place in the shortest amount of time… being kicked out and on my own since 17… watching a man get shot and die in front of me… and waiting to join the Air Force for my dream job to have it change on me in seconds… *sigh* And now I’m dealing with my mom preparing things for when she’s gone. *sigh* It’s hard to stay an optimist in this world… but I’ll keep trying. I don’t have anything else to do… Right?
Still.. someday things will be all right. Someday I’ll be happy. Someday I’ll find someone who truly loves me. All these somedays… I guess life is a great teacher of patience… I’ll wait though. Because, someday… I’ll be great. And that will make it all worth it. (Either that, or true love… I would prefer that to greatness. We’ll see…)

Well, I’m going to bed. Good night all. And I posted my moms comment about her operation at the end…. It’s pretty graphic, so be warned…
Good night.

Matt

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Danny leaves for boot camp in two weeks says:
they took me off prednisone, but the sarcoidosis is coming back, a bump on my lip and scars are looking bad, stomach bypass, the cut the stomach off leaving appx the size of my fist connect to the small intestine, the larger part of the stomach stays floating free connected to allow the secretions of the stomach to aide in digestion.

*sighs* It’ll make her lose weight and should help her overall health. Here’s for hoping, and pray for me since I don’t know who to pray for or if it’ll help even for myself… Again, another someday.. another maybe… good night.

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Filed under: Uncategorized - @ August 27, 2002 11:10 pm