Well, here I am.. alone and at home. Last week I planned to hang out with Tina. I actually planned for me and my friends to hang out with her. Well, yesterday my car broke down. The serpentine belt broke. So I can’t drive it, and when I called them, they said there were going to go pick up Tina and call me at her house to figure out what we were going to do. Well, that was almost two hours ago. Dannon and Nick both like Tina, but I guess she likes me. I figure that’s the reason they ditched me anyways. When I talked to Dannon he seemed to be doing everything to make it sound like I wasn’t supposed to be there or something. I guess it just makes me mad that I plan it, and then am ditched. I guess that shows the quality of friendship anyways. I even worked hard to get some money too… blah.

I would call Aubree, but after last night I’m not sure I should. She gets mad that I can’t let her go. My feeling that I need to be with her is too much for her to take. So I’m going to leave her alone, and let decide what she wants. If she calls me, I’ll be really happy, but I really doubt she will. Most likely she’ll get mad about this saying she always has to call me, but I don’t care. I don’t know what to do about her. I can’ t be with her, but I can’ stay away from her. If I get too close, she gets mad at me saying “Friends just don’t do that stuff.” But if give her distance, she gets mad that I’m not being a friend anymore. I’m trying to find the fine line in between, but I’m not sure I can dance on that edge. And either way, it always goes back to my fault for joining the air force and leaving. My recruiter already knows that I want to leave as soon as possible, so I guess I’ll be gone and she’ll turn into a dream I have, and words on paper… if she writes me. *smile* My fault…

Anyways, I’m going to go play my guitar. Daniel should come by and I’ll guess I’ll use my money to take him to dinner. Nobody better to take, eh?

bye..
Matt

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Filed under: Uncategorized - @ November 8, 2001 8:20 pm