Today went by fairly well. Moved most of my stuff, and went to see Final Fantasy. (Good movie, but it lacked the magic from the games… Oh well.) The only problem I had was being tired. I spent most the night last night packing, so I had only like two hours sleep. It sucked… My brother didn’t get any, so he was annoying all day.. hehe. I like the new arrangements so far, and I hope things will turn out better.
I miss Nagi alot. For some reason, I try not to be on the computer when I’m not at work, so I spend my time writing, rock climbing, just hanging with my friends.. etc. And because I’ve been on vacation for the last week, I have hardly been on the computer. (That and because it was normally taken by someone at my old place, or it’s not on the net like now… I’m using Tony’s computer.) So I haven’t been speaking to her nearly as much as I wish I could… (what I WANT is to BE with her, but … wishes get you nowhere in this world… And calling, … wish I could… but I can’t afford it. 🙂 She says she wants to talk to me tomarrow… I hope it has a good subject, but for some reason I doubt it… but words from an angel can never be too bad, ne?
As for Aubree… it’s quite strange… We’re actually like best friends again. For the last couple months, I was wondering if we would ever even be friends again. She’s been a great help lately… even though she knows another has my heart right now. I kinda wonder if I was such a good friend to her when the roles were reversed. I feel kinda sad for her though… but I’m sure she’ll be ok.
The other interesting thing thats been happening is it seems like a old friend is personally attacking me. Not me directly, but enough that it still hurts me alot. Enough to the point where I doubt friendship will ever return. It kinda saddens me, but I guess if you play by someone elses rules, you either follow them or leave the game… I left.
I love Nagisa with all my heart… I care for Aubree as a best friend. I hope this doesn’t cause problems… Because I don’t know what I would do if one asked me to leave the other.. I would prob leave everything and go to Japan for a while just to get away from life if such a thing happened.

All I can say is that I speak the truth. None of my true friends have ever had any reason to doubt me because of this. And they never will. I am only human, and I do make mistakes… And I cry in pain when I do… which is probably why I do so rarely. All I can say is that if any of my friends ask what my best trait is, I can only hope they say trust. I hope they can trust me, because if they didn’t, I don’t think there would be anything else left in the world to live for.

I love you Nagi. And I can only be in love with one girl. I promise you that. Unless something happens and we go separate ways, the only thing you’ll have to worry about is my driving. *smile*
And even then, you won’t have to worry about me going after another girl…. ever.. again…
I miss you.

~Matt

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Filed under: Uncategorized - @ July 12, 2001 2:04 am