This is a old story, and a old rant. Religion. It’s funny because I started thinking about this earlier when I was talking to Hailey. Around 9-10p I suppose. I asked her if she followed any certain religion, she answered, “Not really.” I was surprised by this answer because it’s hard to find someone who would answer that question the same as I. Many mormons argue that I also am mormon because my parents are and raised me as such, but then I counter with, “How can you dictate what I believe in?” Normally this is a argument with no winners. In the past I have written about my idea of religion.. my beliefs, and they are my own. I won’t belive in a religion because then I would essentially be following anothers, and this can only bring out hypocrites who say one thing and follow their own beliefs. Don’t get me wrong, there might be some people out there that follow the religion to a letter, and to them I think it’s great. They’re following their own beliefs, even if they are doing it in the name of another.
So anyways, Why I thought this is so strange is because when I came home I had a interesting conversation with Alex and Jenn. Apparently they believe that there is some super being acting in on them. They look at a string of actions that’s happened in the last couple days with them and Aubree as the hand of a supreme being guiding them towards some unknown path. I admit, that in the past, I too have felt something… be it some supreme being, or just my imagination and fears running amuck, I won’t say because I truly don’t know. There are some things I believe in, such as we are all a traveling in a circle, and death is indeed not the end but merely the doorway to your next life. I believe this because of one girl. I felt, when we first met, that we had known each other very well somewhere… very long ago. I feel that once upon a time I loved her unconditionally, and I feel that love still. But as for a higher being? I doubt that. Perhaps one of us who has mastered his mind and body.
Watching Experimental Series Lain these last couple nights has got me thinking on this as well. In Lain, there is another world, I guess it would be similar to the Internet. One where the body isn’t needed, and one where we can travel and become something else. In this world, there is a being whom calls himself, “Kami-sama..” or God. Why is he god? He didn’t create the “wired” yet he was there from the beginning. He can be everywhere at once, but he is limited to what he’s seen or heard, so he’s not omnipotent. So, why is he a god? Because he has followers. No matter what religion you follow, would your “god” be a god without followers?

Another belief I have that is considered very taboo or wrong to a lot of people is the concept of Magic. I believe there is power around all of us, yet we all lack the will and strength to channel and wield this power. In the past there are legends of great magicians, but who knows whether these stories were based on fact or fiction. I believe that one can master his body and his mind to change the world. And I believe that hardly anyone, not even I, has this skill… and that it might be a art lost to the world all together. Be this another fantasy of mine or truth, I can’t say. I work hard to gain control of my mind and body. Meditation, martial arts, and writing all work to focus my thoughts and strengthen my will. I doubt I’ll ever gain such power to become legendary for it, but I feel it improves myself and makes me a better person. That is my religion, and those are my beliefs.
I also believe in the freedom of choice. I believe if you condemn, or tell someone their wrong it’s going against this. So if you think I’m outrageous because of this, look at yourself and wonder how outrageous your beliefs are.

Also, I’m not telling anyone to drop their religion… I don’t believe in them because someone else created it, and because of that it can’t be true to your own heart. You look at yourself and decide what path you want to follow, and you choose for yourself what you do with your life. I have done so for my own, and you have the right to do that for yourself.

For a closing, I’m going to add something I wrote a few years ago. Something that gives you another glimpse into my soul, and into my religion. I hope you enjoy it. Also, I’m not sure if Aubree, Jenn and Alex pissed on a gods grave or not, but as long as they think they have, they’ll continue seeing things that seem to happen strangely. Perhaps it’s their own will creating something to give them something to believe in… perhaps god will strike me down for saying these words… but then there would have to be a god.. ne?
~Matt

I hold my hands high in solemn prayer
yet to no god prays I
For no god do I worship, Only nature
Only Love.
For love holds such a greater sway on ones heart, So it must be a god!
Ahh yes, but nature makes us who we are, So it too must be a god.
But why does this god, these creatures of our own doing, deserve the worship we give?
Why I ask, because we need something greater than ourselves to believe in.
Nature is great! Sure, yet love holds no bounds. A humans soul is not infinite, yet it’s not measurable. Something fills this, if not love.. it’s hate. Shall we worship this too? No, not hate, never hate! Why I ask. Because, now I look upon beauty.
I feel love.
To look upon destruction, is to feel hate.
We want peace, not war.
So look upon love and embrace.
Yes love it is and hate we writhe
Why? Because that is how it is…
That is how I want it.

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Filed under: Uncategorized - @ June 18, 2001 6:45 am