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    <title type="text">Strider&apos;s Realm</title>
    <subtitle type="text">Strider&apos;s Realm:The rambling of a man who doesn&apos;t know when to shut up.</subtitle>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/index/" />
    <link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/atom" />
    <updated>2010-01-26T14:13:34Z</updated>
    <rights>Copyright (c) 2010, stridera</rights>
    <generator uri="http://expressionengine.com/" version="2.0.1pb01">ExpressionEngine</generator>
    <id>tag:stridera.com,2010:01:26</id>


    <entry>
      <title>New Servers&#8230; Again</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/new_servers..._again" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2010:index.php/index/1.28</id>
      <published>2010-01-26T20:07:32Z</published>
      <updated>2010-01-26T14:13:34Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>So, I finally went with an actual, well known, hosting solution.&nbsp; This is after having more problems with my server.&nbsp; I would get random 500 errors, wasn&#8217;t able to get to the control panel at times, and recently I&#8217;ve been getting disk quota errors.&nbsp; Hostgator is unlimited bandwidth, space, and domains, a dedicated IP, and I even get a toll free number!&nbsp; (I have no clue what I&#8217;ll use it for, but it came with the package.)</p>

<p>All this for the same price as my old one.&nbsp; I&#8217;m somewhat sad because I enjoyed supporting my friend (I was hosted on his servers) but the lack of backups, common errors, and such worried me.&nbsp; Also, the disk quota thing was annoying.&nbsp; Here I can host everything without worrying about it.&nbsp; (The disk errors were part of the reason I haven&#8217;t updated lately.&nbsp; Hard to create new posts when you&#8217;re denied the ability to create files.)</p>

<p>And finally, I&#8217;ve updated to ExpressionEngine 2.0 (beta) and it&#8217;s not playing nice with some of my links.&nbsp; (It also nix&#8217;d the photo gallery, so that will again be forthcoming.)&nbsp; So, for the time, please pardon the dust.</p>

<p>Matt
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>World Fantasy &#45; Day 2&#45;4</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/world_fantasy_-_day_2-4" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/index/1.27</id>
      <published>2009-11-03T02:15:54Z</published>
      <updated>2009-11-03T01:22:55Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Blog"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C1"
        label="Blog" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>Day one was fine, but after getting no sleep&#8230; the rest of the time pretty much killed me.&nbsp; I like my 8 hours of sleep per night! <img src="http://stridera.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif" width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" /></p>

<p>The panels were mostly awesome.&nbsp; There were a couple that made me wonder about the panelists.&nbsp; I think a few authors felt that their way was the only right way.&nbsp; This, of course, is BS.&nbsp; Fantasy is the place where your allowed to break the rules.&nbsp; You can create the world as you wish.&nbsp; Oh well, overall the advice was well thought out and well presented.&nbsp; The parties were awesome as well.&nbsp; I was able to introduce myself to many other writers, aspiring writers, publishers, agents, editors, etc.&nbsp; It was definitely a great experience.&nbsp; While I don&#8217;t have a finished manuscript yet, it does give me faith that I can one day enter the ranks of a published author.</p>

<p>As for last night, I came home&#8230; tried to write but ended up going to bed early.&nbsp; I&#8217;ll have to write extra tonight to catch up for NaNoWriMo, so off I go!
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>World Fantasy Day 1</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/world_fantasy_day_1" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/index/1.26</id>
      <published>2009-10-30T10:42:54Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-30T09:56:56Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Blog"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C1"
        label="Blog" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>World Fantasy was awesome today, and it wasn&#8217;t even the first full day.&nbsp; I met a lot of really interesting people: writers, aspiring authors, publishers, people who just showed us because it looked fun.&nbsp; The panels were really interesting as well.&nbsp; There was one about Edgar Allan Poe&#8217;s influence on modern writing, which was interesting.&nbsp; I met writer John Levitt who used to live in Salt Lake City, and moved to San Fran, and wrote urban fantasy.&nbsp; (Which matches me pretty well: grew up in SLC, living in SJ, and writing urban fantasy.)&nbsp; I also met Jeff and Ann VanderMeer at the opening ceremonies and was personally invited to their after party.&nbsp; I stayed for the Google Books Settlement panel, which was very interesting&#8230; and then hung out at the parties.&nbsp; Made a lot of new friends tonight, which I guess is the point of attending.&nbsp; Now I&#8217;m eating cold pizza and drinking mint tea&#8212;I don&#8217;t know how those go together either but I ran out of bottled water in the house. :/&nbsp; It&#8217;s almost 3am, and I need to be up by 9am if I want to make it for the opening panels.&nbsp; If things keep going like they are now, this will be one of the best $200 ever spent on a convention!&nbsp; (Oh, and not to mention all the SWAG they gave out&#8230; I&#8217;ll post more on this when I actually have time to go through the bag! <img src="http://stridera.com/images/smileys/smile.gif" width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Website Feedback</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/website_feedback" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/3.25</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T14:53:39Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T13:54:40Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Web Design"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C8"
        label="Web Design" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>Feel free to leave any feedback to my website here.&nbsp; Suggestions, critiques, and complaints are all welcome.</p>

<p>Thanks for your help!
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>My NaNoWriMo novel</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/my_nanowrimo_novel" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.24</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:50:04Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T13:21:05Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Novel"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C4"
        label="Novel" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>So, I&#8217;m going to take a step back from the current novel I&#8217;m writing to tackle a new one for NaNoWriMo.&nbsp; I&#8217;m doing this for two reasons:&nbsp; First, I&#8217;m kinda stuck on my first one.&nbsp; I had a well defined plot set out and I&#8217;ve written all the major plot points, however, I&#8217;m not sure how to get the characters from point a to point b.&nbsp; I honestly think I&#8217;m putting too much effort into trying to make sure something exciting is happening at every moment and so I get stuck.&nbsp; I&#8217;m thinking that if I step back and think about something else, I&#8217;ll be able to come back and see it in a different light.&nbsp; Second, I have a fun concept I&#8217;ve been kicking around in my head.&nbsp; While reading &#8220;On Writing&#8221; by Stephen King, he mentions that he (almost) always starts his books with a situation, and then he just documents what happens.&nbsp; So, I decided it would be fun to try.&nbsp; I have a good situation, perhaps a little corny but still fun, and I&#8217;m going to imagine what&#8217;s happening and just write.&nbsp; The nice thing of NaNoWriMo is that it encourages the brute force writing method.&nbsp; I don&#8217;t think, plan, or plot, I just write.</p>

<p>So, my situation:<br />
In a world that is very similar to ours there exists an exclusive aristocracy of magic users.&nbsp; The most powerful, and leader of this group, has a couple children but his daughter is his obvious favorite.&nbsp; Another man, a well known and very powerful doctor, has been exiled by the aristocracy for performing human experiments.&nbsp; One day, the leaders daughter is critically injured to the point where everyone knows there is only one person who might have a chance to save her.&nbsp; Resigned, he takes her to the doctor and pleads for her life.&nbsp; Seeing the opportunity to get his revenge, he pretends to try to heal her but instead stabilizes her, places her in a coma, and informs the father that she was too far gone and the best he could do is restore her body for burial.&nbsp; The doctor takes a corpse of a similar girl and uses his power to replace the leaders daughter for burial.&nbsp; Afterward, he puts all his powers into transforming the girl into a weapon that he could use to strike back at those who shunned him.&nbsp; He transforms her into a half girl, half cat.&nbsp; She has cat ears, eyes, and muscles granting her enhanced abilities.&nbsp; Her appearance was changed to make sure she wouldn&#8217;t be recognized, however, she remains stunningly beautiful.&nbsp; And, finally, he erases her memory to ensure he can control her.</p>

<p>The novel begins as she wakes up in a strange place, with strange abilities, and no past.</p>

<p>And in 5 days, she&#8217;ll begin to have a future. <img src="http://stridera.com/images/smileys/smile.gif" width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Lots of updates</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/lots_of_updates" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.23</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:35:26Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:38:27Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Other"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C7"
        label="Other" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>I went through some of my early livejournal entries and copied some poems I wrote over to this site.&nbsp; Before you decide to tell me how bad the poetry is, remember, I wrote most of them 6-7 years ago and I&#8217;ve (hopefully) improved.&nbsp; Either way, enjoy!
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Boku no tenshi</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/boku_no_tenshi" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.22</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:18:19Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:19:20Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Poetry"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C5"
        label="Poetry" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>If an angel fell from heaven<br />
And entered moral grasp<br />
Would she in her beauty<br />
Be to holy for me to clasp</p>

<p>Or if a goddess came to see<br />
The world she thus blessed<br />
Would I be able to look on her<br />
without being depressed</p>

<p>But still I look and wait<br />
And still I try to see<br />
If she understand who I am<br />
Or knows what she means to me</p>

<p>But my heart grows stronger<br />
As it&#8217;s forced to wait alone<br />
Perhaps the future will come<br />
Before it turns to stone</p>

<p>Time comes slow, and still I wait<br />
But I shall stay strong<br />
For even if eternally I wait<br />
For her that&#8217;s not too long.</p>

 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>I sit and I wonder</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/i_sit_and_i_wonder" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.21</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:17:21Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:18:22Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Poetry"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C5"
        label="Poetry" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>
I sit and I wonder<br />
Why my body freezes so<br />
Why my heart feels like ice<br />
And this hollowness in my soul</p>

<p>I look and I wonder<br />
About this beauty that I know<br />
Why must my mind disobey<br />
Why can&#8217;t I keep my heart in control</p>

<p>I sigh and I wonder<br />
Or do I know the truth<br />
Does my heart lie to me<br />
Deny me of my proof</p>

<p>I live and I wonder<br />
For whom do I live<br />
For thee I&#8217;ll wait forever<br />
To thee my heart I give
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>I hold my hands high in solemn prayer</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/i_hold_my_hands_high_in_solemn_prayer" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.20</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:15:40Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:16:41Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Rants"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C12"
        label="Rants" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>I hold my hands high in solemn prayer<br />
yet to no god prays I<br />
For no god do I worship, Only nature<br />
Only Love.<br />
For love holds such a greater sway on ones heart, So it must be a god!<br />
Ahh yes, but nature makes us who we are, So it too must be a god.<br />
But why does this god, these creatures of our own doing, deserve the worship we give?<br />
Why I ask, because we need something greater than ourselves to believe in.<br />
Nature is great! Sure, yet love holds no bounds. A humans soul is not infinite, yet it&#8217;s not measurable. Something fills this, if not love.. it&#8217;s hate. Shall we worship this too? No, not hate, never hate! Why I ask. Because, now I look upon beauty.<br />
I feel love.<br />
To look upon destruction, is to feel hate.<br />
We want peace, not war.<br />
So look upon love and embrace.<br />
Yes love it is and hate we writhe<br />
Why? Because that is how it is&#8230;<br />
That is how I want it.
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>A Goddess sits on the throne and waits</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/a_goddess_sits_on_the_throne_and_waits" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.19</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:14:12Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:15:13Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Poetry"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C5"
        label="Poetry" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>A Goddess sits on the throne and waits<br />
For the world is not hers<br />
She is just a protector, a watcher<br />
A granter of wishes<br />
A guardian of years.</p>

<p>She sits and she wonders<br />
Why she cares so<br />
The world does not remember her<br />
They lost her one yesterday<br />
off in the time flow.</p>

<p>So she cries and she ponders<br />
Can she save a world as this<br />
for evil roams everywhere<br />
burning in the hearts of man<br />
spread with the devils kiss</p>

<p>A Goddess sits on her throne<br />
watching a stolen place<br />
the years keep coming<br />
yet she keeps smiling<br />
As the tears roll down her face.
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Why does beauty</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/why_does_beauty" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.18</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:13:24Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:14:25Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Poetry"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C5"
        label="Poetry" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>Why does beauty<br />
so pure so true<br />
have to be so red tinted</p>

<p>Love always precedes the pain<br />
Isn&#8217;t that how it always goes?<br />
Why can&#8217;t I just reach out to her<br />
Caress her heart to sooth my own<br />
She sits so close angelic beauty<br />
yet she&#8217;s not mine, nor any man<br />
For such a heart roams free<br />
The shackles of love would hold her down<br />
Her wild heart, once chained now dances in freedom<br />
Tis not my pleasure nor my power to take that away<br />
yet still, there she sits, My angel on such a night<br />
Hair on shoulders, eyes closed in nights blissful sleep<br />
Shall I reach out a hand and take hers?<br />
Nay, I do not possess the will to do so..<br />
I will not awaken her from her dreams,<br />
Her heart plays free in the confines of her mind<br />
Yet could her troubles be chasing her<br />
And my gentle touch to more good than evil?<br />
Alas, my soul burns with envy<br />
My arms burn for her touch<br />
yet dream or mare I do not know<br />
Maybe not ever, for such will is only in the possession of hero&#8217;s<br />
And a hero is not what am I.
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Asleep my body lays and waits</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/asleep_my_body_lays_and_waits" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.17</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:12:25Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:13:26Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Poetry"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C5"
        label="Poetry" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>Asleep my body lays and waits<br />
for your gentle touch of life<br />
A kiss to wake me from my death<br />
A cure away from the knife</p>

<p>Alone my soul wanders free<br />
No body to hold it down<br />
Searching for his goddess<br />
in her angelic gown</p>

<p>Happy my heart rests<br />
for it dreams of your embrace<br />
And still I live in my dream<br />
Where I can still see your face.<br />
 
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>On the wings of the devil I follow my way home</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/on_the_wings_of_the_devil_i_follow_my_way_home" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.16</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:10:20Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:11:21Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Poetry"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C5"
        label="Poetry" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>On the wings of the devil I follow my way home<br />
Clawing through darkness, blood, pain, and stone<br />
I reach for my emotions through this deadly haze<br />
struggling to open my eyes yet too scared to gaze<br />
Alone in this prison which bears no escape<br />
I reach for a figure hidden by a dark cape<br />
Mocking laughter sears my ears as my heart starts to break<br />
Never before had I realized how much I had at stake<br />
With fists of desperation I reach out to strike<br />
My hands in agony I turn to take flight<br />
Glass shards surround me with prisms of pain<br />
the mirror falls to the ground that my blood begins to stain<br />
Sweat stings my eyes and my fear takes hold<br />
My body starts to shiver so lost in the cold<br />
And just before to my doom I give in<br />
As I feel my lifeforce slowly start to dim<br />
White light blinds me and a voice starts to call<br />
A hole in my defenses and a crumbling wall<br />
An angel lights the room that almost became a grave<br />
She smiled and showed the exit from the cave<br />
On feet that waiver with a weary desire<br />
and a heart that wished to be free of the fire<br />
He walks on a path none before had tread<br />
following the Angels silver strand of thread<br />
Alive and yet alone the young knight walks on<br />
Searching for this Angel whom he draws his strength upon<br />
He knows not if he&#8217;ll find her in the sands of time<br />
Yet still his love lives on in his poetry and rhyme
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Angels</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/angels" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.14</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:06:26Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:06:27Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Poetry"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C5"
        label="Poetry" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>Angels in all their beauty and perfection<br />
Have wings that they never use<br />
Gravity has no effect on them so<br />
Why was it wings they did choose</p>

<p>Perfect yet they still had a choice<br />
And the wings were but a thought<br />
Unused except for visual delight<br />
In a world that they wrought</p>

<p>Angels in all their beauty and might<br />
And something else you might miss<br />
Devils also are perfect in every way<br />
As they give you deaths icy kiss
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Here I sit a lonely sinner</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://stridera.com/index.php/main/here_i_sit_a_lonely_sinner" />
      <id>tag:stridera.com,2009:index.php/2.15</id>
      <published>2009-10-25T13:06:20Z</published>
      <updated>2009-10-25T12:09:21Z</updated>
      <author>
            <name>stridera</name>
            <email>stridera@stridera.com</email>
            <uri>http://www.stridera.com</uri>      </author>

      <category term="Poetry"
        scheme="http://stridera.com/index.php/site/C5"
        label="Poetry" />
      <content type="html"><![CDATA[
        <p>Here I sit a lonely sinner<br />
Lost in a world that could have no winner<br />
I walked a path I thought was best<br />
Under a bright unholy crest<br />
In pain and misery I walk alone<br />
For my sins I can not atone<br />
Yes still I walk for I know nothing else<br />
And endure the ever stinging welts
</p> 
      ]]></content>
    </entry>


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