I'll probably remove this bar, but if not, this is where I'll post links and such.
I could also use this area to display calandar, recent entries, archives, syndicate, etc. Let me know if you think that would be better. I would like to include them, but I think the main column is too narrow. If I don't put them here, I'll throw them in the left column under the menu.
So, I finally went with an actual, well known, hosting solution. This is after having more problems with my server. I would get random 500 errors, wasn’t able to get to the control panel at times, and recently I’ve been getting disk quota errors. Hostgator is unlimited bandwidth, space, and domains, a dedicated IP, and I even get a toll free number! (I have no clue what I’ll use it for, but it came with the package.)
All this for the same price as my old one. I’m somewhat sad because I enjoyed supporting my friend (I was hosted on his servers) but the lack of backups, common errors, and such worried me. Also, the disk quota thing was annoying. Here I can host everything without worrying about it. (The disk errors were part of the reason I haven’t updated lately. Hard to create new posts when you’re denied the ability to create files.)
And finally, I’ve updated to ExpressionEngine 2.0 (beta) and it’s not playing nice with some of my links. (It also nix’d the photo gallery, so that will again be forthcoming.) So, for the time, please pardon the dust.
Matt
Day one was fine, but after getting no sleep… the rest of the time pretty much killed me. I like my 8 hours of sleep per night! 
The panels were mostly awesome. There were a couple that made me wonder about the panelists. I think a few authors felt that their way was the only right way. This, of course, is BS. Fantasy is the place where your allowed to break the rules. You can create the world as you wish. Oh well, overall the advice was well thought out and well presented. The parties were awesome as well. I was able to introduce myself to many other writers, aspiring writers, publishers, agents, editors, etc. It was definitely a great experience. While I don’t have a finished manuscript yet, it does give me faith that I can one day enter the ranks of a published author.
As for last night, I came home… tried to write but ended up going to bed early. I’ll have to write extra tonight to catch up for NaNoWriMo, so off I go!
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World Fantasy was awesome today, and it wasn’t even the first full day. I met a lot of really interesting people: writers, aspiring authors, publishers, people who just showed us because it looked fun. The panels were really interesting as well. There was one about Edgar Allan Poe’s influence on modern writing, which was interesting. I met writer John Levitt who used to live in Salt Lake City, and moved to San Fran, and wrote urban fantasy. (Which matches me pretty well: grew up in SLC, living in SJ, and writing urban fantasy.) I also met Jeff and Ann VanderMeer at the opening ceremonies and was personally invited to their after party. I stayed for the Google Books Settlement panel, which was very interesting… and then hung out at the parties. Made a lot of new friends tonight, which I guess is the point of attending. Now I’m eating cold pizza and drinking mint tea—I don’t know how those go together either but I ran out of bottled water in the house. :/ It’s almost 3am, and I need to be up by 9am if I want to make it for the opening panels. If things keep going like they are now, this will be one of the best $200 ever spent on a convention! (Oh, and not to mention all the SWAG they gave out… I’ll post more on this when I actually have time to go through the bag! 
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Feel free to leave any feedback to my website here. Suggestions, critiques, and complaints are all welcome.
Thanks for your help!
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So, I’m going to take a step back from the current novel I’m writing to tackle a new one for NaNoWriMo. I’m doing this for two reasons: First, I’m kinda stuck on my first one. I had a well defined plot set out and I’ve written all the major plot points, however, I’m not sure how to get the characters from point a to point b. I honestly think I’m putting too much effort into trying to make sure something exciting is happening at every moment and so I get stuck. I’m thinking that if I step back and think about something else, I’ll be able to come back and see it in a different light. Second, I have a fun concept I’ve been kicking around in my head. While reading “On Writing” by Stephen King, he mentions that he (almost) always starts his books with a situation, and then he just documents what happens. So, I decided it would be fun to try. I have a good situation, perhaps a little corny but still fun, and I’m going to imagine what’s happening and just write. The nice thing of NaNoWriMo is that it encourages the brute force writing method. I don’t think, plan, or plot, I just write.
So, my situation:
In a world that is very similar to ours there exists an exclusive aristocracy of magic users. The most powerful, and leader of this group, has a couple children but his daughter is his obvious favorite. Another man, a well known and very powerful doctor, has been exiled by the aristocracy for performing human experiments. One day, the leaders daughter is critically injured to the point where everyone knows there is only one person who might have a chance to save her. Resigned, he takes her to the doctor and pleads for her life. Seeing the opportunity to get his revenge, he pretends to try to heal her but instead stabilizes her, places her in a coma, and informs the father that she was too far gone and the best he could do is restore her body for burial. The doctor takes a corpse of a similar girl and uses his power to replace the leaders daughter for burial. Afterward, he puts all his powers into transforming the girl into a weapon that he could use to strike back at those who shunned him. He transforms her into a half girl, half cat. She has cat ears, eyes, and muscles granting her enhanced abilities. Her appearance was changed to make sure she wouldn’t be recognized, however, she remains stunningly beautiful. And, finally, he erases her memory to ensure he can control her.
The novel begins as she wakes up in a strange place, with strange abilities, and no past.
And in 5 days, she’ll begin to have a future.
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I went through some of my early livejournal entries and copied some poems I wrote over to this site. Before you decide to tell me how bad the poetry is, remember, I wrote most of them 6-7 years ago and I’ve (hopefully) improved. Either way, enjoy!
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Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/3782.html
If an angel fell from heaven
And entered moral grasp
Would she in her beauty
Be to holy for me to clasp
Or if a goddess came to see
The world she thus blessed
Would I be able to look on her
without being depressed
But still I look and wait
And still I try to see
If she understand who I am
Or knows what she means to me
But my heart grows stronger
As it’s forced to wait alone
Perhaps the future will come
Before it turns to stone
Time comes slow, and still I wait
But I shall stay strong
For even if eternally I wait
For her that’s not too long.
Poetry • (1) Comments • Permalink
Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/4391.html
I sit and I wonder
Why my body freezes so
Why my heart feels like ice
And this hollowness in my soul
I look and I wonder
About this beauty that I know
Why must my mind disobey
Why can’t I keep my heart in control
I sigh and I wonder
Or do I know the truth
Does my heart lie to me
Deny me of my proof
I live and I wonder
For whom do I live
For thee I’ll wait forever
To thee my heart I give
Poetry • (0) Comments • Permalink
Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/6261.html
I hold my hands high in solemn prayer
yet to no god prays I
For no god do I worship, Only nature
Only Love.
For love holds such a greater sway on ones heart, So it must be a god!
Ahh yes, but nature makes us who we are, So it too must be a god.
But why does this god, these creatures of our own doing, deserve the worship we give?
Why I ask, because we need something greater than ourselves to believe in.
Nature is great! Sure, yet love holds no bounds. A humans soul is not infinite, yet it’s not measurable. Something fills this, if not love.. it’s hate. Shall we worship this too? No, not hate, never hate! Why I ask. Because, now I look upon beauty.
I feel love.
To look upon destruction, is to feel hate.
We want peace, not war.
So look upon love and embrace.
Yes love it is and hate we writhe
Why? Because that is how it is…
That is how I want it.
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Originally posted at
A Goddess sits on the throne and waits
For the world is not hers
She is just a protector, a watcher
A granter of wishes
A guardian of years.
She sits and she wonders
Why she cares so
The world does not remember her
They lost her one yesterday
off in the time flow.
So she cries and she ponders
Can she save a world as this
for evil roams everywhere
burning in the hearts of man
spread with the devils kiss
A Goddess sits on her throne
watching a stolen place
the years keep coming
yet she keeps smiling
As the tears roll down her face.
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Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/7607.html
Why does beauty
so pure so true
have to be so red tinted
Love always precedes the pain
Isn’t that how it always goes?
Why can’t I just reach out to her
Caress her heart to sooth my own
She sits so close angelic beauty
yet she’s not mine, nor any man
For such a heart roams free
The shackles of love would hold her down
Her wild heart, once chained now dances in freedom
Tis not my pleasure nor my power to take that away
yet still, there she sits, My angel on such a night
Hair on shoulders, eyes closed in nights blissful sleep
Shall I reach out a hand and take hers?
Nay, I do not possess the will to do so..
I will not awaken her from her dreams,
Her heart plays free in the confines of her mind
Yet could her troubles be chasing her
And my gentle touch to more good than evil?
Alas, my soul burns with envy
My arms burn for her touch
yet dream or mare I do not know
Maybe not ever, for such will is only in the possession of hero’s
And a hero is not what am I.
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Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/8476.html
Asleep my body lays and waits
for your gentle touch of life
A kiss to wake me from my death
A cure away from the knife
Alone my soul wanders free
No body to hold it down
Searching for his goddess
in her angelic gown
Happy my heart rests
for it dreams of your embrace
And still I live in my dream
Where I can still see your face.
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Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/10450.html
On the wings of the devil I follow my way home
Clawing through darkness, blood, pain, and stone
I reach for my emotions through this deadly haze
struggling to open my eyes yet too scared to gaze
Alone in this prison which bears no escape
I reach for a figure hidden by a dark cape
Mocking laughter sears my ears as my heart starts to break
Never before had I realized how much I had at stake
With fists of desperation I reach out to strike
My hands in agony I turn to take flight
Glass shards surround me with prisms of pain
the mirror falls to the ground that my blood begins to stain
Sweat stings my eyes and my fear takes hold
My body starts to shiver so lost in the cold
And just before to my doom I give in
As I feel my lifeforce slowly start to dim
White light blinds me and a voice starts to call
A hole in my defenses and a crumbling wall
An angel lights the room that almost became a grave
She smiled and showed the exit from the cave
On feet that waiver with a weary desire
and a heart that wished to be free of the fire
He walks on a path none before had tread
following the Angels silver strand of thread
Alive and yet alone the young knight walks on
Searching for this Angel whom he draws his strength upon
He knows not if he’ll find her in the sands of time
Yet still his love lives on in his poetry and rhyme
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Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/17060.html
Angels in all their beauty and perfection
Have wings that they never use
Gravity has no effect on them so
Why was it wings they did choose
Perfect yet they still had a choice
And the wings were but a thought
Unused except for visual delight
In a world that they wrought
Angels in all their beauty and might
And something else you might miss
Devils also are perfect in every way
As they give you deaths icy kiss
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Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/13304.html
Here I sit a lonely sinner
Lost in a world that could have no winner
I walked a path I thought was best
Under a bright unholy crest
In pain and misery I walk alone
For my sins I can not atone
Yes still I walk for I know nothing else
And endure the ever stinging welts
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