This shell I built around my heart
Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/18045.html
This shell I built around my heart
This protection from the pain
To keep the pain of love away
By keeping them locked within
These armament’s that I built to keep
Prying hands and hearts away
Now serves it’s desired purpose
Though I wish it were not there
The barrier now serves as a shadow
One that I fight to light up
Yet this shell must be broken from
The shadows deep within
So now my love his burning strong
In a place I can not feel
Yet soon it will burst free
From these confines of my soul
~ Matthew Jones
Poetry • (0) Comments • Permalink
When thinking of love
When thinking of love
Or thinking about life
there is only one thing
that causes me strife
Time seems to fly
when I want it to be slow
I think I know the reason
for it’s quick flow
Time is always there
for each lovers kiss
There is not one hearts caress
that it does miss
Yet time is always alone
ignored and betrayed
So to give its revenge
Time will never be stayed
Quickly it flies
When you want it to wait
And that’s why and end comes quick
to each and every date.
Poetry • (0) Comments • Permalink
I look inside those feelings
Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/30712.html
I look inside those feelings
locked within a tear
Emotions so close to you
of love and hope and fear
I see all these inside of you
And know I’ll always be
If nothing more than a friend
I’ll be a memory
So stay true to your heart
And I’ll stay true to mine.
You will always be dear to me
As we walk the paths of time.
Poetry • (0) Comments • Permalink
Religion
Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/6261.html
I hold my hands high in solemn prayer
yet to no god prays I
For no god do I worship, Only nature
Only Love.
For love holds such a greater sway on ones heart, So it must be a god!
Ahh yes, but nature makes us who we are, So it too must be a god.
But why does this god, these creatures of our own doing, deserve the worship we give?
Why I ask, because we need something greater than ourselves to believe in.
Nature is great! Sure, yet love holds no bounds. A humans soul is not infinite, yet it’s not measurable. Something fills this, if not love.. it’s hate. Shall we worship this too? No, not hate, never hate! Why I ask. Because, now I look upon beauty.
I feel love.
To look upon destruction, is to feel hate.
We want peace, not war.
So look upon love and embrace.
Yes love it is and hate we writhe
Why? Because that is how it is…
That is how I want it.
Poetry • (0) Comments • Permalink
If ever there was a time I did fear
Originally posted at http://stridera.livejournal.com/820.html
If ever there was a time I did fear,
It would be the time I knew you wouldn’t be there
My heart sits and waits, but still I can’t see
What I would do if you weren’t there for me.
My soul would be empty and my heart all alone
My body would die with no way to atone
In sorrow and grief, I’d be lost in fantasy
Of times long past when you still cared for me
Even now your image burns strong in my mind
And forever I know I’ll come to find
That never did I doubt you were my best friend
But much more than that, friends to the end.
~ Matthew Jones
Poetry • (0) Comments • Permalink
Once as an Angel I flew bout in time
From my livejournal here: http://stridera.livejournal.com/23421.html
Once as an Angel I flew bout in time
Flying on wings that gave peace and rhyme
I lived with a passion that I held deep inside
I held to my truth, so young and untried
I was so sheltered in my heavenly space
Ignorant to war, hate, and disgrace
Yet still none of these were strong enough
My courage was enough to keep me tough
And then like a arrow came my downfall
Shot through my heart as I tried to stand tall
Something that was supposed to be great
Something that could even bring down fate
Falling towards earth, I learned this too late
Not even the strong will always be great
Angel no more, I walk mortal land
Lost in emotion I could never understand
Searching for truth when all around is lie
Knowing that if I give up, I will surely die
In time I’ll learn the cause of this sin
I’ll know how I was attacked from within
But forward I walk toward my own destiny
Wondering if love is a friend or an enemy
—Matthew Jones
Poetry • (0) Comments • Permalink
Writer’s Realm
This is a place I can post my poetry, book snippets, and other relevant information.
Other • (0) Comments • Permalink
Programmer’s Realm
This is a place I can post my code, computer ramblings, and other generally geeky comments.
General Computing • (0) Comments • Permalink
Favorite Podcasts!
I decided to write a quick post showing my favorite podcasts. Check them out, they’re good. (ITunes links will open up in ITunes.)
Writing Excuses (ITunes Link) - If you’re writing, this is awesome. It’s done by Brandon Sanderson (Author of Mistborn, Elantris, Warbreaker, the forthcoming Wheel of Time book, etc), Dan Wells (Author of I am Not a Serial Killer), and Howard Tayler (Webcomic Author of Schlock Mercenary). They give tips on how to be a good writer, have good guest authors, and have writing prompts to help you keep up your writing. It’s good stuff.
Science@NASA (ITunes Link) - If you like astronomy, this is the podcast for you. They tell stories of the past, inform you of cool forthcoming events, and give you a good science kick.
Grammar Girl (ITunes Link) - I know my grammar’s not the best, but I do want to improve myself. The Grammar Girl podcast tackles a different grammar topic (usually answering questions submitted from listeners) and it is really useful.
JapanesePod101 (ITunes Link) - If you’re learning Japanese, check these out. They are well produced and include lots of extra information to help you learn.
Please feel free to comment any other podcasts you think I would enjoy. 
Blog • (1) Comments • Permalink
Birthday Wishlist
Since my birthday is a week from Saturday (Sept 5), my family has been asking me what I wanted. I keep telling them a gift certificate to Amazon or Thinkgeek, but they just tell me that a gift certificate is a cop-out. So, fine… I’ll actually make a list of stuff I want.
- Kindle DX - $489.00 - I specifically want the DX since it natively supports PDF documents. This way I can send ebooks I get to the device. Also, this way I can send writing group stuff to the device w/o having to convert it first. (Well, doc->pdf is fine now that M$ Word will do that on it’s own.) Expensive, yes, but oh so useful. I’m pretty sure I’ll get this one way or another by the end of the year, hence the reason I want Amazon gift cards… so I can buy books for it.
- Samsung SyncMaster T220 Widescreen LCD Monitor - $229.98 - I already have one of these monitors, and I would like to get another one (or one similar to match color tones/etc) for dual-screen display. They say another monitor increases productivity by 30%, so this will be a good investment.
- A new router! - $40-$120 - When I went out to get a new router, I instantly went for a WRT54G… just to find out that Cisco neutered it by making it only have 2MB flashable memory. So, I have to use DD-WRT micro. It’s crap! So, now I want a new router with at least 16MB memory that I can put DD-WRT/Tomato/whatever on it and use it as a VPN server among other things. (Hence, the newegg gift card.
- A trip to Japan - $lots - Yea, I really want this.
- Photoshop CS4 - $699 - I don’t use this much, but it’s awesome for web design! Stuck on a Trial Version atm.
- A new bike - ~$1k - I don’t have a bike… and I kinda want one.
- Anything else techy/cool. Because… I like to be techy and cool.
So, after looking at that list, you still think a Gift Card is too much? 
I’ll add more as I think of stuff.
Blog • (0) Comments • Permalink
Where to look until I get this updated
For those wanting to keep track of me, here are the best pages to look at:
http://www.twitter.com/stridera
http://www.facebook.com/stridera
and (haven’t been used much recently) http://stridera.livejournal.com/
I do have a couple reworks of this page in progress… hopefully I’ll finish it soon.
Blog • (0) Comments • Permalink
New Servers
Moved content to a new server… sadly… they zapped the old server before I could backup the database. Luckily, I didn’t have too much stuff on there… just the comments/descriptions from my iraq pictures… I’ll have to retype that… damn
Anyway, hopefully I’ll get the site back up and running soon.
And… finally… this server should be a little more stable than any of my past servers.
Feel free to check out my livejournal in the meantime.
Blog • (3) Comments • Permalink